Why we love supercouples

Relation in Time - 1977

Relation in Time – 1977

Recently I’ve been hearing the word “supercouple” more and more. Specifically, in reference to me and my partner Andrea Wrobel. In addition to other things, her and I run a website called One Thousand Dates. There we share the story of our relationship, one date at a time. It’s purpose is to inspire both us and others to create, connect, and explore, always with the goals of self-improvement.

When I first heard someone call us a supercouple the term fell in to place naturally. I don’t say this conceitedly, I say this with modesty. I feel privileged to have met someone who has similar goals to mine and someone I have formed a loving and creative partnership with. Andrea supports me so earnestly, while still pushing me to be my best, and I hope to do the same for her. Self-improvement and growth requires taking risks. It needs a willingness to constantly try new things and accept the potential for failure*. For me, Andrea is a person who I know is in my corner and wants me taking these risks, and also someone who I can observer taking similar risks. And, because of that, rather than feeling the pressures of increased vulnerability that comes with another set of eyes watching you, I feel a desire and constant inspiration to try new things, I feel a sense of “we are in this together”.

I figure this is as good of a definition of a supercouple as any. Thinking of some of the other supercouples in history, I think of artists like Maria Abramovic and Ulay – who shocked with their performance pieces, Patti Smith and Robert Mapplethorpe – who lived in poverty and were fearless in their creations, and  Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera – who’s passion and politics were infused in their work. When I think of what they accomplished I am inspired.

That feeling is something I hope for everyone. I believe everyone should have someone (romantic or not) who they know they can be completely open with. Someone they feel inspired by and someone they inspire. I think we love supercouples because we all want that feeling – and rightly so. It’s great to have someone in your life you can call your rock. But don’t kid yourself, it takes work.

Creating and working with your partner isn’t easy. Andrea and I write, photograph, and make art together and there is often tension somewhere in the process. Part of that tension is vulnerability, part of it is us pushing the other, and part is fear. I find all of it beneficial though. Beyond One Thousand Dates, we’ve created the ongoing installation project Disposable, been in a music video for Kevin Drew, and written many articles for Toronto Social Review.

If you’ve found that person that makes you feel like a supercouple or you are relentless in the quest, let me know how it’s going. Tweet or comment below.

*Note: I don’t actually consider “failure” failure, but rather an opportunity to learn from mistakes and improve.

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